[voice]

[unmakeme_tlv]

Sokolov has... taken ill. [Yep, that's what she's going to call it. Taken ill. Not "randomly passed the fuck out in the hallway outside her door" or anything. Taken ill sounds less ridiculous.]

If you had any plans with him for the immediate future, they will need to be rescheduled.

This includes the self defense class I have scheduled this week.

[She gets the feeling this message should be longer. But there's really nothing else to say, is there? So she doesn't.]

Comments

[silvestris]

Is he safe?

[She hopes it's just a coma, anyway. Those tend to resolve easily.]

[unmakeme]

Yes. I have him. His breathing and heart rate are steady, blood pressure is good, pupils are even and reactive.

[Natasha has no experience with a Barge coma. Not yet. Someone will probably have to explain it to her at some point.]

[silvestris]

Sounds like when my Warden went down. He'll probably be good as new in a week; the Admiral just knocks us out at random, every now and again. More of us lately than usual.

The only real worry is if someone comes in to play a prank.

[unmakeme]

[This is all good information. She files it away.]

I think he'll be all right on that front.

[routemistress]

Wait, what's up with 'im?

[unmakeme]

He's unconscious. Apparently this happens a lot around here.

[routemistress]

Oh, a coma! 'Ad me worried a minute. Aye, pretty much barge normal. Just park 'im in the sickbay and draw a penis on 'is face, 'e'll be fine, love.

[unmakeme]

Hilarious as that sounds, I think I'll just let him sleep it off where he is.

As I understand it, there aren't any actual doctors in the infirmary. I think I'm probably more qualified to look after him.

Private;

[velocette]

Do you give private lessons?

Private;

[unmakeme]

[Not actually the point of her post, but...]

I suppose I could. Why?

Private;

[velocette]

[he'd offer condolences but he doesn't remember who Sokolov is. :( ]

My inmate could break my neck before I could call for help.

Private;

[unmakeme]

That... seems like a very bad pairing.

Voice

[burnmythoughts]

Coma? [Jean's voice is frail and hoarse, but the concern is clear.]

Voice

[unmakeme]

Coma. [Confirmation. She doesn't sound worried.]

Voice

[burnmythoughts]

[A faint, rough groan.] Those are always annoying.

Most of them last about a week.

Voice

[unmakeme]

And the ones that don't?

[The actual question is: what's the worst she's looking at here?]

audio

[lastincident]

Does he need a house call?

audio

[unmakeme]

He seems all right, aside from not being awake.

[It's not exactly Banner's fault that the Hulk tried to squash her like a grape, but it gives her some very real reservations about inviting him near her helpless inmate if the need isn't dire. His control is admirable, but not perfect, and Natasha isn't afraid of much, but she's afraid of the other guy.]

audio

[lastincident]

If you'd like for him to get care, I can ask Peter to come down with a stretcher to transport him to the infirmary.

[ Bruce knows better than to ask. Natasha obviously doesn't remember being her -- or what happened between them -- and that's honestly for the best. ]

[ He scares her enough as it is. ]

[themissingpiece]

You didn't get him drunk, did you? [Yes, that is his first assumption.]

[unmakeme]

That's not why he's passed out.

[She wouldn't be telling the network about that, she'd just pour black coffee and boiled potatoes into him and wait for it to pass.]

[themissingpiece]

You sure?

[mistconduct]

Oh, what the shit's wrong with him now? What takes down a fucking Russian bear? Lack of potatoes?

[unmakeme]

In my experience? High powered assault rifles and landmines.

In this specific case, I have no idea.

[mistconduct]

Fuck.

So...fuck, what, is he sick? Unconscious? The fuck's going on?